So, today is my birthday and after a good start to the day we were down to business as usual. Sprogzilla completely refused to go down for his morning nap after a particularly good night’s sleep and so this is what follows:

  1. Get child out of cot, spend 10 minutes sulking because I haven’t had a moment to myself all day.
  2. Notice child has got spit-up on his t-shirt. Remove said t-shirt.
  3. Whilst cooking lunch, observe child emptying contents of sippy cup all over kitchen floor.
  4. Watch in bemusement as child splashes hands in newly created puddle.
  5. Remove child’s now soaked trousers. We are down to just a nappy.
  6. Attempt to use bathroom. Get interrupted by wailing child banging on door.
  7. Assemble high-chair, leap after child who has managed to reach my glass of squash.
  8. Sit down to eat. Watch as food and drink is carelessly discarded all over floor.
  9. Hand child back his sippy cup half a dozen times. Finally eat my lunch, now cold.
  10. Clean up child, high-chair and floor. Change nappy with much resistance.
  11. Chase child around sofa approximately fifty times in futile attempt to dress him. *
  12. Nurse and put down in cot.
And can you guess what? The little bugger is still awake!
* I may have exaggerated this number. But only slightly.

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